I woke up around 7 am and then I ingested approximately 150ug or 1 tab of LSD. You could say that I was in for an interesting day. A rollercoaster of emotions, frustration and then 90 minutes of unexpected erotic pleasure. After about 45 minutes, I began to become enveloped by the drug, tingling all over; my mind became aware of everything at once – I was hypersensitive to stimuli. Our brain allows us to function in everyday life by blocking out, inhibiting all information that isn’t relevant to our current goals(s); LSD does the exact opposite of this. It melts our perceptions, and it permits all information, whether relevant or not into our awareness. This is why LSD is said to be overpowering to some, but as a person with ADHD, I was born hypersensitive to stimuli. LSD feels familiar to me, it feels like home; I’m at peace with stimulation overload. My goal for this trip was to download information from the environment; to throw a wrench in my perceptions, to see what I can open up so that I can grow as a person. I like to do this whenever I feel like a pool of stagnant water, it helps me get the current flowing downstream, so to speak.
There I was in my room surfing Facebook when I encountered a video about bushfires from a major news outlet. As I watched this video, every movement, every vocal inflection, and each tiny detail of non-verbal communication to me stood out like the flashing of Police lights during the night. This video struck me as peculiar. There was something about it that was amiss, and immediately I thought ‘propaganda’. Now, this enraged me, particularly because I’m passionately against Government oppression and media manipulation of the public. In an instant I was up out of my chair, aggressively marching around my room, fights clenched; enraged. I began reflecting upon the situation in Hong Kong, and how the people are being increasingly oppressed by the Chinese Communist Party, and how dissidents go missing. My mind raced. Thoughts of how I am becoming more public about my views on Government Oppression and unlawful use of state force. “Am I an endangered species” I ponder, “they don’t like people like me”. I decided that I need to calm down and remove myself from cyberspace, so I close my laptop and head outside of the house.
I live in Inner West Sydney; a progressive area full of trendy cafes and kind and creative people. Your environment influences you when you are sober, but it influences to an extreme degree whilst on LSD, so I’m headed to Newtown. Upon arriving at the train station, I discover that the next train isn’t for 15 minutes, which is particularly strange because there are trains usually every 5 minutes or so, but then I remember it’s Sunday. After getting off the train, I’m headed for the bus stop. I sit next to the homeless man, unshaven, sporting rags and with a sad demeanour. The combination of being a hypersensitive person, and a person on LSD, this makes me an incredibly emotional being. I begin to feel overwhelming empathy for this Man, and I think about how lonely he must feel. I turned casually try and strike up a conversation. “How’s your day going?”, he responds with fear and words along the lines of a mumbled, “I don’t have anything”. This makes me incredibly sad and tears begin to well up in my eyes. I sit there, bathing in empathy. I think about how he must only have negative interactions with people, especially when the first thing he says when someone speaks with him is that he doesn’t have anything. “I don’t want anything from you, I was just making conversation”, “I’m not straight, I’m not gay” he blurts out, immediately getting up and walking away. I sit there surprised and saddened; our state has failed this Man, and my heart aches for him.
Minutes later this beautiful Woman of about 25, walks by; medium height, thin, wearing clothes that are flaunting her physique, I immediately become interested. Our eyes meet as she walks past me, and there was something in her eyes that told me she liked what she saw. I’m about 5’8, 73kg; I’m very muscular and lean, and I’m wearing leggings and a bright orange singlet. My arms are covered in tattoos, and my arms and lats bulge out the sides of my singlet. I’m hot property, well at least I look like it. She glances at me a few times, and then at the seat next to me. Her body language screams I want to sit next to you, but I’m scared. She half-spins of the spot a few times, edging nearer, our eyes meeting, my casual warm smile welcoming. She gets closer, but she eventually chickens out and moves away. It’s a shame, she’s so beautiful, but I don’t always like to make the first move; I mean it’s 2019, I’m about gender equality, and I like a woman who knows what she wants. I get on the bus and sit on a seat facing everyone. During this bus ride, I experienced a rollercoaster of emotions, from sadness to joy, to musical ecstasy and to deep empathy. What a ride, literally.
I arrive in Newtown around 11 am, expecting to see a busy street, filled with culture and life. I was left feeling disappointed, as I was met with sadness, homelessness and of broken spirits. This wasn’t what I’d planned upon, nor was it anything that I’d seen here before. It’s funny how insulated you are when you run the 9-5 rat race; nobody had even gotten out of the house post-Saturday night celebrations, so all that was left were those who were alcoholics or had nowhere else to go. This weighed heavy on my heart. “I’ll go to the park and relax,” I thought. The Camperdown Memorial Rest Park was about a 5-minute walk away, and on the way, I walked past my favourite trendy hipster pub ‘The Courthouse Hotel’. I peered inside, only to be met with sights of alcoholism and despair; I decided against my attendance. Across the road was the park. This park usually boasts a gentle slope, filled with luscious grass; all I saw was drought and dogs. But, hey at least there were dogs.
I lie there, shoes off, sprawled out on the not-really-that-grassy knoll, enjoying the peace. Finally some respite from the battling that waged inside my mind. I lay there for about 20 minutes, under an overcast sky, when I noticed the sun started to hurt. “Sunburn after 20 minutes?” I thought to myself, “what the hell!”. I felt like nothing was going right; I couldn’t even enjoy the sun. I started to ponder whether this intense sun is an effect of climate change; either way, I wasn’t sticking around to find out. I had to go somewhere else, so I decided that I’d go home. I arrive at the train station only to find it shut. Fuck! I walked past a homeless man, who asked me to help out; my knee-jerk reaction was “sorry man, I only carry card”, but then I paused. “I can help you,” I said, immediately walking to the closest ATM. I withdrew $50. As I handed him the note, I kneeled down and gave him a side-hug, only to have him reel back in pain, “arrrghhh!!!, skin cancer”. He was gracious in receipt, and I was on my way.
On the way to the bus stop, I received a message from a booty call, so I figured, “Hey what the hell”. As the bus was arriving, I was making trying to contact said booty call, because public transport was largely shut down this morning for maintenance, so I figured that I should call ahead to double-check; I wouldn’t want to arrive for no point. She didn’t pick up. Fine, I figured I’ll walk home. I began walking home and about 300 metres down the road the sun began to hurt again. I was getting annoyed at this point; hot, sweaty and I just wanted to go home; this town, in its current morbid condition was making me feel glum. Remember your environment really influences how you feel on LSD. I decided to call an Uber. I sat down out the front of a trendy cafe, of which was deserted. Perched atop my milk-crate throne, with a thin cushion as icing, I pulled out my phone. As I hit order on the app, I gazed across the road. My eyes fell upon a building, completely blacked out with advertising for an erotic massage parlour. Hmm… several moments of contemplation… Immediately I felt sensation downstairs. “What the hell, I deserve to relax after the morning I’ve had,” I thought. I went on their website to inspect the masseuse, but none of them was to my liking. I decided to just go home.
I called another Uber, of which said was arriving for about 10 minutes. When I called him, I wasn’t able to communicate with him to uncover his location. I angrily told him don’t worry, and hung up. Off to the bus, I figured. Upon arriving at the bus stop, I realised there wasn’t another bus for 20 minutes; so I sat and waited. While waiting, I had the idea to just get a regular massage, because I’ve been stressed, gloomy and emotional; I deserved it. I punched it into Google Maps, ‘massage near me’. Great! There was one 30 metres away; finally, my luck is changing! I cross the road and enter the Thai massage parlour. It looked quite fancy, and it was well put together. The moment I walked in, muscles bulging out of my singlet, sporting a huge squat booty in my leggings, my eyes met with this young Thai Woman of about 25. Fit, cute and she bounced out of her chair as soon as she saw me, smiling widely; eyes sparkling. There was an older woman who was there also, but I kept glancing at this beautiful Woman, in hopes of communicating that I wanted her to massage me, and not the old lady. Thankfully the old lady was the receptionist. I began to loudly exclaim about how I’ve had such a stressful day, completely forgetting that I’m in a place of relaxation. They quickly motioned for me to be quiet. I hung my head in shame, apologising three or four times. I paid my fee, and I was shown to the room.
Inside the room was a large, square Thai massage table tightly hugged the curtain walls; sturdy and soft. I got undressed and laid face down. Minutes later the masseuse entered. She asked me where if there was a particular area that she should concentrate on, I replied “my soul”, she giggled. She placed a towel over my back, got up on the table and began by putting her knees on my back. She tried to stretch and crack me, but being somebody is exceptionally athletic, and well stretched, she had had little luck. I felt nothing in the realm of relaxation, just pressure; she quickly realised that her usual methods weren’t going to do. She pulled the towel down, oiled up her hands and begun working on my back. I could tell that she realised that what she was doing wasn’t really that effective, as I was either not reacting at all, or reacting very little, but then, finally, she struck gold. She found a spot on my right shoulder blade that was quite tight; she quickly got to work. I winced in pain, “is the pressure too much?” she queried, “I like it” I replied. And I did like it.
She moved down my back, massaging in a therapeutic and relaxing way; I was beginning to feel calmer. Now, one thing you must understand is that a nice booty is appreciated almost universally by both sexes. Girls have frequently commented on my butt, telling me how nice it is; grabbing it and smacking it. It’s very obviously big. As she was massaging my lower back, she tucked the towel into my underwear and began massaging the top of my butt. I reacted favourably to this; she could tell. Up until this point, I hadn’t provided much of a reaction to anything she was doing, with except to the shoulder blade. So, you can imagine that she was going to keep doing what she was doing. It felt really nice, probably because the glutes are a semi-sexual location on the body, so it makes sense why I enjoyed this; it was bordering on erotic. I couldn’t help but let out a soft moan, like one when somebody is giving you a massage and it just hits the spot. She would go up and down my back, edging slightly onto my booty, and then returning. It was incredibly relaxing, so much so that, I turned my head to her and asked “can I extend?”; she had a look of both shock and confusion on her face… I don’t think she knew what I meant. She replied with a soft “no”, which is fair because I was already receiving a 90-minute massage.
Immediately after this, she placed the towel back on me and left the room. After about a minute or two she returned, removed the towel, oiled up her hands and continued to massage me; starting at my lower back. Except, this time it was different, she was massaging with an incredibly noticeable higher level of enthusiasm. I suspect that she took my request for extension as a sincere compliment; what is more encouraging than an offer to pay more money for a service that you are in the midst of providing? It’s the ultimate form of validation. She continued to massage me, gradually moving lower down my booty, pulling the towel and underwear down as she went. Massaging the sides, and eventually the entire thing. With each massaging movement, I felt myself melting into the table. Each movement gliding over my booty, sending shivers of pleasure throughout my entire body; my entire being alight with sensation. I felt everything… and what’s more, I felt it with increased intensity. I had completely forgotten that I was on LSD. My body and her hands began to move in sync; I felt her movements, and she felt mine. We were connected, bare hands to skin. Her hands ventured up and down my legs, my inner thighs, and my body was screaming with enjoyment. I felt so much pent up sexual energy that I couldn’t help but rub my fingertips to my palms. She could tell I was excited, and she began to massage my hands; pressing my palms, activating the muscles in my fingers, making me grab onto her hands. Each time I would sense a withdrawal from her, I was put my legs and arms very close to my side, indicating that she was in control, and not me; she decided how far this went. Each time I did this however, she would pull them out again from my side, indicating that she was ok with what was happening. She felt the sexual energy too, and I could tell she liked it. With my hand out to my side, I made inviting gestures with my fingers, communicating to her that this wasn’t in her head, this was happening, and I liked it; I wanted more.
My underwear wasn’t even covering my booty at this point. I was extremely aroused. I couldn’t help my reaction to this, it just felt so good; the massage had obviously ventured from non-erotic to erotic. And so casually, too. Without trying to hide the fact, I grabbed the towel, pulled it completely off me and it fell to the floor. Oops. She continued to massage with increasing intensity, venturing dangerously close to the tops of my inner thighs. I was even reaching out and touching her hands and arms as she massaged me; she didn’t mind, I could tell. At this point, she was massaging my entire booty, and I couldn’t help but stick it out in response to the pleasure; inviting more. The sexual energy in the room, between her and I, was palpable; you could reach out into the air and touch it. The energy between her and I was so intense that it almost condensated; raining down back upon us.
I was incredibly aroused, and I wanted her; I wanted her bad. I turned my head to the side, and making a very tiny rotation of my trunk, attempting to communicate that I want to be face up. She got the hint quickly. She got my left leg and pulled it out to my side at a 90-degree angle. Her hands glided up the inside of my thigh, sending waves of ecstasy throughout my entire body. She did this to both of my legs. After some time the masseuse in the room next to us said “face-up, please”, and without hesitation, my masseuse did the same; we weren’t even close to being finished. I turned over, and she placed a small cloth over my eyes; I was blindfolded.
She was massaging my legs, up and down; my inner thighs too. After not much time, I just removed the towel from atop my body; this wasn’t needed. I made gestures to her to massage my arms; I did this on the purpose you see. My arms are muscular, thick and defined, and I know that Women love to feel them. I wanted to turn her on even more. She massaged my arms, feeling my muscles; it felt amazing to be objectified. I was so turned on that I was squirming, biting my lips and trying my best not to be too loud. I began to make gestures for her to massage my neck; I enjoy being choked ;). Her hands eventually made their way to my neck; she was standing behind my head. Her hands massaging my neck and moving down my chest venturing dangerously close to my groin. I pulled off my blindfold, and I looked her in the eye. We maintained eye contact for a while whilst she was massaging me; she was incredibly beautiful. We were staring into each other’s souls, and it was like we were one. Hot. As. Fuck.
We were nearing the end of the session; she asked me to sit up. So I sat cross-legged at the end of the table, waiting. She left the room and returned with hot stones. She began massaging my neck, shoulders and head, eventually pushing me forward so that I had to hold myself up with my hands; my ass sticking out… I was essentially on all fours. The hot stones felt incredible on my skin, and the position she’d forced me in I felt entirely vulnerable but it was simultaneously incredibly hot. As she finished up, she offered me tea and I gratefully accepted. I saw there in complete awe of what just happened. I then remembered I was on LSD. After a few minutes of sitting, I went into the foyer of the parlour, sitting in a comfortable chair, sipping my tea; gazing out of the window onto the street, still in a pleasurable shock. She didn’t come out into the foyer while I was there, I think in fear that I might say something and raise suspicions. I decided to head home.
I walked up the street to the bus stop, thankfully the transportation system was working again. I boarded the bus and not long after I arrived at home. I brushed my teeth and headed to bed. I was out not long after my head hit the pillow. “What a day,” I thought to myself; I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. This day had been everything I’d needed and more. I’d experienced a deep array of emotions, rapidly changing from one to the next; it was incredibly intense. This intensity forced me to connect more deeply with issues at play in the world; motivating me to act. Something has to be done, and I need to do the best that I can to change it. I needed to feel all of these deep, intense emotions of sorrow, empathy and despair. The Universe demanded that I empathise more deeply, for how could I garner the energy to pursue change without a deep empathy for those negatively affected? I’m a pretty happy guy, but before my massage, I was feeling quite down in the dumps; hopeless, frustrated and glum. The Universe doesn’t play around though it seems; I was awarded connection and pleasure, balancing out the emotional spectrum that I had experienced that day. LSD is a magnificent substance, and it has played an intensely pivotal role in my life. What a day.