Deep breaths, deep breaths; they say psychological pains hurts like razors, like your body cannot differentiate between the physical and the mental. Whatever kind of pain, it hurts all the same. Long have I spent on this journey, long have I spent fighting against all odds; this statistical distribution isn’t stacked up in my favour. It’s one in a million, I think. I mean I was never good at probability, but what’s the probability that we’d meet, the probability that we’d connect; what’s the probability that when I’d look in your eyes would see the fireworks fly? They say love is a complex chemical reaction, well if that’s true then we’re a nuclear reactor cos’ the way you feel when you’re pressed up against me is nothing short of a nuclear explosion. Intense. Each of our interactions are laced with intensity. The polarity, the magnetic pull; I wrote about this prior and now it’s coming true. When, not IF. This magnetism is undeniable, it’s palpable and it’s… forbidden. Forbidden by the fear of the unknown, the fear of growth. It’s incredibly hard to accept that the distance between us will soon become great; I must go. A betrayal of self otherwise would this be, but I really really really wish you’d come with me. My heart aches like my feet when I’ve been standing all day. Your blue eyes shine sparkle in the light, they pierce deep into my being like an arrow in the heart. Never in my life have I felt so seen, heard and felt; you make my heart melt. Here I am, but a pool on the ground. P. S, I think I love you. You complete me.

One thought on “probability.

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