As we move through life, we experience pain, trial and tribulation. Negative experiences, bad relationships, failed attempts, financial difficulties, difficulty relating to and reconciling with parents and other relatives; difficult housemates, co-workers, bosses, and confusion over our life purpose, just to name a few. The adversity that we encounter during life has been presented to us to educate us – to teach us something that we do not know or do not fully understand. However, after we reap the wisdom of these adversities, the adversity and challenge does not go away, no, it is often intensified. Why, you ask? Great question. We gain wisdom from experience and from difficulty, however, we are also pressed by life to confirm that we have learned our lesson, that we did in fact reap the wisdom offered, and that we implemented it.
You see, our life changes as we change (or refuse to), for better or worse. Now, say you have learned a lesson about boundaries in relationships, you then implement that teaching into your behaviour, and yet you still encounter adversity and challenge in relationship. Well, of course: how could it be any other way? The challenge is now a test, rather than a lesson; it is a confirmation of your wisdom – of how you’re conceptualising the world. Now, when you are faced with this difficulty, you will not suffer and it will not hurt as much, because you are correctly dealing with the challenge at hand; your conceptual understanding of life is in alignment with the appropriate behaviour to produce outcomes that you desire. You will smell bullshit, and it will glow red like the sun; it will be conspicuous and your path ahead will be obvious.
Do not be perturbed by the emotional reactions of others to your new found action; remain calm and centred in your being, trusting yourself and the decisions that you have made. If there is a lesson to be learned, you will experience pain and you will learn it – however, do not let the fear of pain induce uncertainty and doubt in your perspective and actions.
Relationships are inherently complex, ambiguous and difficult to manage, be it platonic, romantic or somewhere in between. We are dealing with human beings here, after all. And humans are the most dynamic, complex and difficult to conceptualise entities that have ever lived. We cannot fully know ourselves, although we can try, so do not punish yourself for not fully grasping the nuanced happenings of human interaction and relation. For not even Isaac Newtown himself could comprehend.