How do you say goodbye to someone who lives in your heart? How do you move on when they live in your imagination, pervading your everyday existence? How difficult it is to instruct your heart and mind to distance; how painful it is to enforce boundary on a love that scales walls and conquers borders. You go a few days without contact, and then… ding! Oh, what a nice message – wishing me safe travels. What a dangerous game. And now my mind is taken back a few steps, my imagination reignited – oh the pain, oh the torture! The breadcrumbs of contact taste so sweet, even if I have to fall to my knees. At least when someone dies they cannot die again. The reopening, that’s what hurts. Please, if you’re going to die please die once and not force me to continually relive the pain of a life never lived – or, come back from the grave.

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