Love is not enough

Love is not enough. You may experience the most breathtaking attraction to someone, but this, this isn’t enough. Nor is compatibility alone enough to support a romantic relationship; you must have both. A relationship with only love, is a relationship where you cannot agree on how life should be, where you should live, and what you should do – nor what you value. One with only compatibility, is a relationship that is starved of passion, one where you have to force yourself to not look at other women, where you avoid eye contact with your partner, and one where you daydream of a different life. Stable, sure: enjoyable, faithful and fulfilling? Definitely not.

How do you strike this balance, and is it even possible? For me, I feel that it would be easier to compromise and reason with someone who is not as compatible but you felt intense romantic desire for, if that’s even possible. I can’t force myself to feel ravishing passion for you, but I can reason and compromise with you on the location of our settlement, on the colour of our walls, on how, when and where we travel: but not on what we value. Lying will burn the house to the ground, and I cannot convince you otherwise – it has to be a self-motivated change.

Relationship is a complex business and neither structure, nor love – alone, is enough.

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