Blind spots, we all have them. Visually, mentally, relationally – we are afflicted. We can believe with certainty that our reality is so, but our blind spots make it possible for this reality to simultaneously not be so. It pains me to know that there is always something that I’m missing. I continuously feel that I am missing something, that there is something that is flying above my head. Is it the case that those who are more similar integrate socially better? As I write this it seems obvious enough. What if something changes drastically, compounding over time? Would this person integrate with those to which he is dissimilar too, albeit not completely, but majoritively, in disposition?
Sometimes I feel that my quest for self-development has further isolated me from the group. And the strange thing is, though I subtly yearn for social acceptance, I also know that I find it difficult to relate to those who are not of a similar disposition, mindset, or path. It’s quite paradoxical. Once upon a time, when I was a person who was scattered into pieces – completely non-integrated, I felt largely ignored by society, and now, it feels oddly similar. It’s funny, after 7 years of intense effort, focus, dedication and execution towards a better life, I also feel similarly ignored, and I cannot understand why.
Is it my confidence? Or am I intimidating? These things fly over my head, and I can’t figure out why. Life is complex and I yearn to understand the intricacies of life, universe, and those who populate this sphere of consciousness. Until then I will sit alone in front of the red glow of my screen, silently tapping words into existence on this here page.