Letter to my future self.

Dear Dylan,

I hope that you let your breath and heart guide each step, with a mind wide open. I hope that you continue to act with integrity, grit, and continue to develop and fine-tune your empathy. May your steps fall on solid ground more often than not, and I pray that the ground falls out from beneath you – sometimes. Your presence in a present, especially when your presence is present, especially when your presence is with yourself, and with yourself alone. Attachments are the source of all pain, but do not let your fear of pain, of attachment, deny you the moments in which you may witness and hold beauty, even if only temporarily; you know that awareness, breath, water and food are all that you need – all else is superfluous, additional, and merely a nice-to-have. And yet the tides of emotion will move you about, they will come and go, rise, fall and crash, and sometimes you might drown, or, nearly. Irrespective of that presence you hold, things still hurt – oh yes, they sting, cut and burn. This is inescapable: this is life.

You can mitigate the damage, however. If you act with integrity and with the future in mind, in a way that would be infinitely repeatable and still continue to produce good, or better results in the future, this is the way – this is a positive feedback loop. These feedback loops will form the bedrock of your ability to cope, for life is infinitely difficult, complex, and ultimately painful. And so, you must adapt and deal with the changing tides skilfully, with mastery. You know not where the road ends, nor where the road leads, for sure; ensure you are building structures to weather the storms and winters ahead, for if you fail to prepare, you will surely die, or at least suffer dreadfully, unnecessarily. I hope that the road that lay behind you was one that was traversed with mastery, wisdom and prudence. I hope that the last breaths you breathe are welcomed by a soul overflowing with gratitude, with love.

To die seems like something to be welcomed after a life well lived. To die is something that I visit everyday when I sit in meditation, and for that I am grateful. To sit with the feeling of death, is to sit in acceptance of it. Life is but a journey, and both the journey and the destination are the reward. In death we are relieved of all responsibility, weight, and emotion. Only in death are we truly free.

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