Anxious feelings.

I feel so hurt, betrayed, and uncertain. I hate feeling like this, I hate feeling like I can’t rely on someone, and I hate feeling disrespected and unappreciated. The feeling that one wrong move is the end of your relationship is a torturous feeling. One error, one misstep, one… difference, and then you are in the bin – you’re garbage. I feel so replaceable as if I were a mere placeholder, as if it mattered not who took my place, as if it is not truly me who is seen, appreciated, and held, but rather a set of preconditions that could be met just anyone else. I feel as if our emotional bond meant nothing, means nothing to them. The feeling of prolonged conflict and a voluntary, arbitrary denial of communication, of resolution, is an assault on my senses, a war waged against my anxiously attached nervous system. If someone really loved you, would they do this to you? I wonder…

I wonder if you really love me, or if you just say you do.

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