The human experience is only as difficult as the degree of existence of self – that which constructs a fear based narrative to justify its survival. This self, this identity, the one that argues I am this, and I am not that; I am a yoga teacher, I am a spiritual teacher, I am an investor, I am successful, I am a teacher, I am stoic, I am tough, I am this, I am that, I am disconnected from source… identity is a prison. When we identify with that which is not now, that is to say, identity is always a post-hoc attachment.
Identity is a function of trying to nail yourself to something ‘stable’, something ‘solid’ and immoveable; we do, and then we try to perpetuate this doing into a descriptive quality.
we try and label ourselves as that which we have previously done.
This is natural. We humans crave stability, however we begin to shoot ourselves in the foot when we take perspective and realise that, only in fear do we cling to that which holds us up, the bridge onto which we cling; the parachute that we trust to open. Only in fear, that is, the fear of death, do we cling and resist. When we believe we are something, we believe that we exist, or must exist across time – now this, this is true attachment. I believe that the ego, that identity – the self… these things are a bug, not a feature. They are a hindrance; they are objects that you carry, and when we put them down, we begin to relax into who we are.
The ego is an innate human process. We all possess the capacity for having and not having one, and sometimes that is a fine line. It must be said that ego, inherently, has no determinable value – it’s neither good nor bad, right nor wrong, desirable nor worthy of aversion.
The ego is a process, software running upon human hardware, that can be selectively utilised for manoeuvring in the physical plane – on earth. The ego is how we are able to conceptualise the future as a concept with which we can negotiate; in other words, the ego is our mental ability that allows us to plan for the future to increase the likelihood of our survival. Therefore, the ego, by definition, exists to serve as the function through which we grapple with the future. Moreover, the ego may serve as a protective structure behind which we can protect ourselves from malevolence. Without it, we would crumble under any external pressure. The ego is the armour that protects, it is its purpose.
The ego is the self.
The only way to transcend the ego – transcension being a funny word we use to describe the process through which we observe the self is an illusion. This discernment of fact from fiction allows us to sink into what is, and pay less mind to the reality the ego projects on each situation.
The observation of self, or lack thereof
Early in the process of finding meditation, we observe the emptiness of things. We begin by observing the counting of the breath – one, two, one, two, one, two… tick, tock, just like a grandfather clock. With each beat, with each step, our lifeforce is draining. One day we will die.
Look for what’s looking.
From where do you gaze from? Is it that there is a point from which you gaze, or could it be the quality, the space, the moment within which things arise to be known? Is there you experiencing anger, or is there just the experience of anger? Is there someone said to be experiencing love, but rather they had little say in it; in that moment they are the conduit through which love is expressing itself in the universe.
The gaze from we believe our face to be, is the same space all other things arise. There is no separation of knower from knowing, from church and state; of yinyang. The same space that feels the sensation, is the same as that which is aware that sensation is being experienced. It is all encompassing, like a fisheye camera lens.
Relaxing into it
Upon realisation that the self is the space in which the conception of the self arises; this is consciousness – the same plane we all exist upon, and utilise as a medium for communication.
You do not need to apply effort to exist here, for it is the human natural state. Just relax into it.
There is no effort to be applied, nor is there any destination, nor process; there is simply what is.
Consciousness is that which twists and binds anything with observable animate force. It is the ether upon which the coins of life and death are swapped and traded, back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.
All things are right here, and you too, right here, completely, no thoughts to be had, nothing to be understood nor compared. You were always here, though you never left, we say simply arrive. When we think we are something, when we think we are somewhere, we must remind ourselves to simply arrive.
It’s already happening, you’re already here. Observe the fact of observing, sense the sensation that reaches tall, above to below; within, without.
Here you are… here, now.