I feel so happy, and yet I feel fearful. I feel fear because my mind can easily get away from me, away from reality. The fantastical fantastic realm of ideas, of possibilities, this realm consumes me. My mind runs in four directions, pulling me; the birthing of ideas on overdrive. The words they run right … Continue reading tilted towards the sky.
What do you want? A simple question, or so it seems; but how often have you silently sat, and pondered what it truly is that you desire? Do you know, well, shit, I don't even know; how can one even know? Well, it seems that in life we use one thing as a reference to … Continue reading What do you want?
I've been toxic lately. I'm not trying to, or going to excuse my behaviour. I was wrong, I feel guilty and I feel painfully self aware of my own toxic tendencies. I have to forgive myself though, because I know this is just the external manifestation of internal pain. Still, no excuse for my behaviour; … Continue reading My Confession.
Our deep seated beliefs influence how our life unfolds, for better or worse. If, deep down we believe that we are unloveable then we will have reactions and take actions that will unfold the destiny that we truly fear right before us; we are creating the very thing that we fear most. We recreate our … Continue reading Abandonment, rejection and fear.
Women have been a point of weakness for me. The novelty of a new face, the lustful seductress leading me back to her place. Why is their house always empty when they invite me inside? My lust blinded me to the distinct lack of furniture, of anything of substance really. Nethertheless I would motion to … Continue reading women.
A river can never flow incorrectly, for its flow is perfect no matter where it decides to go. As water moves down the river, it slides itself down, around and over anything in its way. The rock that lay in its path stands tall and strong in the face of the turbulent force of the … Continue reading The Tao.
The journey within is a treacherous path. One may only venture with a sword in hand, for the six-headed hydra awaits along the hero's path. One may address a surface manifestation, to remove the head, only to find that the beast has grown two more in its place.
I have Autism, I have ADHD, and as such I have anxiety. When I was younger, a child, a teen, my anxiety sat at extreme levels and I really struggled to cope with everyday things. This biological predisposition to anxiety was accentuated by my childhood experience. I grew up in low socioeconomic conditions without a … Continue reading Musings.
What is it that you want? What are you striving towards; why do you strive for this? Why do you do the things you do? I used to want 'success', whatever that means... I used to want material wealth to excess, because I thought it would bring me what I wanted, what I needed; happiness, … Continue reading Presence.
It's self evident that nobody is perfect, right? It's self evident that I shouldn't expect myself to be either, no? So, why do I expect myself to be; why do I feel like I've taken an arrow when it comes to consciousness that I've erred? I must release myself from the toxic grip of perfectionism. … Continue reading Early morning thoughts.