I feel empty like a blank canvas; alone, like a whale. I cry out into the ocean, and nobody hears me, nobody sees my tears. Numb, like a palliative care patient, like a dental visit: by the disassociation from painful emotion. I feel stressed, and I feel unworthy of society: my autism, and my ADHD … Continue reading Numb.
The world ways heavy on my shoulders. All the pieces can be perfectly placed, and still the world weighs heavy; weighs-less sometimes, but sometimes the weight is more than can be upheld, more than I can carry alone. A weight to be carried alone or at least it feels this way; friends and family are … Continue reading
The city built with walls keeps out intruders and do-gooders alike; watchtowers along the bulwark unable to tell the difference from afar, yet they seek to take no risk. Nobody in, nobody out. The king's people yearn for the fruits and spoils beyond the city walls, and yet the king refuses and stands tall in … Continue reading The king, the dragon and the gold.
I call out and I hear only echoes, echoes of years past Fierce independence, grit and a self-determined life, No replacement for the tribe, for we are but social creatures,
I'm a pain professional you see. I've suffered more than most. Pain is no longer a stranger to me; an old friend. A boot through my door is how he chooses to enter, lifting me up by the throat, pinning me against the wall; pain is back again. With one swift motion pain slams me … Continue reading pain.
Deep breaths, deep breaths; they say psychological pains hurts like razors, like your body cannot differentiate between the physical and the mental. Whatever kind of pain, it hurts all the same. Long have I spent on this journey, long have I spent fighting against all odds; this statistical distribution isn't stacked up in my favour. … Continue reading probability.
Suddenly, as if it were injected into me, a thick black veil falls over me; I feel the black dog walking behind me. The black dog, the inescapable feeling that lingers in the recesses of my mind; the ever present feeling that follows me through life. Deeply rooted in the past, in my sadness and … Continue reading The Black Dog.
Life is like sand through the fingers; the more you try and hold on, the more it slips away from you. Curious how we Humans seem to take forever to learn a lesson, and only after enduring the pain of being do we begin to learn. It seems as if it's impossible to hold onto … Continue reading Sand.
Have you ever gazed upon the world with a bleak stare? I have. Loneliness is a wretched beast; an enveloping feeling of which carries me down the road. My true nature is one of routine, a nature that sits like a statue on barren ground... unwavering, unchanged and desolate. I fight my true nature by … Continue reading Bleak city stare.
I'm myself every second of every day, but lately, I've been feeling increasingly discouraged to continue, should I wear this socially constructed facade? In tribal times, being different meant putting the group in danger; failure to conform meant you were the weakest link, an unreliable chink. However, in modern times, societal norms do not directly … Continue reading I wish I was an emperor penguin.